Smile!

I haven’t updated this blog for months. So much happened in my life… But now I will have another go with this.
So. This what you will read next is about something that happened to me this summer, the 9^th of July.
That’s a long time ago, I know.
But it all made me think.

I wrote this months ago, but never got to post it here. But yes, I’m having a new go.

“I never was afraid of the dark. Then I met darkness.

I was waiting for the bus arriving in half an hour with two friends. It was 22.30 and we were in a bus cabin, talking about just everything.

Suddenly this guy, around 20 years, comes to us. His balance wasn’t very good, so we figured he was drunk. He asked us how he could get to the trains with a bus leaving as soon as possible. Before we had listed up the buses for him he interrupted and told us he needed to help his’ ex-girlfriend from the club. He said she usually got very drunk and he didn’t want her to walk home alone, as she’d probably get raped.

He missed two buses cause he didn’t want to run to them. Now it was a 15 minutes before the next bus going to the trains would arrive, so he sat down and talked to us.

It didn’t take long until we realized something was wrong. He told us he had broken into a rapist’s house last week, that he had crushed a window and cut himself on the glass. He showed us the wound on his wrist. And he started going on and on about that men who attacked women totally had lost all respect. I can agree with that.

Then a bus came that he could take.

He ran in front of the bus to stop it. He said “They always stop”, and that if he’d die, it wouldn’t matter cause he’d lost so many people.

I can not tell everything he said, cause I don’t know what was true, and if what he said was true, then people could get hurt if they saw this blogpost. But I can say this.

The bus driver didn’t let him on the bus cause he was too drunk and seemed violent as he had stopped the bus by standing in front of it. So this guy came back to us. With a really frightening smile on his’ lips.

Then he asked us if we knew a guy called -. We didn’t. And he told us who that person was. I can not write here who… But I can say this. It made me afraid of the dark that night.

He told us that he would tell this person to shoot the head off the bus driver.

He sat down beside me and I felt very scared. Then another man, nearly 30 years, came to the bus cabin to check what time his bus would arrive. And he asked us how he could send a “text message ticket” (in Sweden around Stockholm you can’t pay with money on the bus, so if you don’t have a ticket, you can send a text message to the bus company and get a reply that is your ticket) and to what number. Me and my friends told him what to send and to what number. But then the drunken guy tried to interrupt us and tell the man another number. Luckily the man didn’t listen to him; he thanked us and got out of the cabin.

Now the drunken guy told us that we shouldn’t have given that man the right number. “What if he would take the same bus as you?” “Always give the wrong number, so people like him won’t get on the bus.” And the reason was: he could be a rapist.

He said:
“Look at him. He doesn’t look very cool.”

That man looked like a happy man. I didn’t understand what this guy meant.

It was as if he couldn’t see the difference between a threatening man and an innocent man.

I just prayed to God that this guy’s bus would come sooner.

When two ~18-year-old boys passed the street and walked towards our cabin, the guy mumbled “Now someone’s coming…” and grabbed his pocket as if he had something in it.

As he didn’t take anything out I can’t tell what, but after everything he’d told us my first thought was “He’s going to stab them with a knife if they come closer”.

The two boys didn’t come closer. And the guy didn’t stab anyone.

He talked some more about rapists and his hate towards them… He told us once again he needed to help his ex from the club. Then, finally, his bus came and me and my friends just went “Oh, please let him on the bus!” and the bus took off, with him on it.

Yes, I could breathe out.

I didn’t need to be scared for my sake at all, as I am a girl.

But I didn’t breathe out.

I thought of the bus driver. I thought “What if he was serious? What if he will tell that guy to shoot the bus driver?” and now the hurtful part for my sake; “Could I have done something to stop him?”

It took two days until I realized I had to drop those thoughts.

What’s happened has happened.

And he was drunk.

But if anything like this would happen again, I want to remember that Kerli quote:

“Hate breeds hate. Love breeds love. Be love.”, and I want to try to explain this to that person.

”

When I heard what had happened on Utøya in Norway I just…

I seriously still don’t have any words for it. It broke my heart.

All my love to the ones involved with that tragedy.

We need to make a difference.

We have to start with ourselves.

Let’s start a Love Revolution

Do you know what really cheers people up?
A smile.

How simple a smile seems, but still… Really.

I don’t even know how many times a smile from a stranger have cheered me up.

My favourite memory is from this one time when I was really sad. I waited for the bus to pick me up. When the bus came, two older boys who I didn’t know stepped in front of me and got on the bus before me, almost pushed me aside, even though I’d been standing there. I was so sad that I didn’t even care. But when I got on the bus I felt that the bus driver looked at me. So I looked back and he smiled kindly to me and said hi. That made my day.

If you don’t do it already, try one day. When you feel happy, just share your happiness by smiling against people. If someone looks strange at you, don’t even bother. You’re just trying to make the world a better place.

Secret Moonchild

Of course a smile isn’t always enough. But it is definitely something! :):) Actually I started thinking of Secret Moonchild when I was writing this blogpost. Secret Moonchild is an inspiring moonchild who tweets tips and gives you challenges and a lot of wise words! So check out and follow @SecretMoonchild on http://twitter.com/#!/SecretMoonchild.

Let’s ilu the world, together :)

Extra much Light and Love

Yeti